24 February 2007

waves


Today I opened a card from someone I used to work with. Not someone in my direct department or area. I probably interacted with this person once a month. he wrote a note to wish me well and expressed hope that i was doing okay.

that's when another wave hit me.

I didn't get to say goodbye to people in "normal" ways.
and i'm mad about that.

You know how you leave a job on good terms and can come back and visit and enjoy a "reunion" of sorts with people you used to see everyday?

That's not on offer.

In fact, I'm not even interested in going back into the workplace, because I don't want to risk running in to some of the people I feel are responsible for the decisions.

So I've been telling God that I'm angry about it. It doesn't feel fair. (I know, life isn't fair.)

Truthfully, this grieves me. Partially because it indicates that I still have to forgive people and let go of the situation.

And that tires me.

I wish I didn't care.



(Pix:
#1 Debbie, Perth, Scotland.
#2 also Perth. Beth doesn't like this photo but I think it's cool.
#3 Karla nearly getting pounded by the waves in Bally-something, Northern Ireland.)

2 comments:

cindy said...

i find myself wanting to say something about this post and not really knowing how to phrase it but here it goes...

the situation may have started due to decisions that were made by certain people, true. But God allowed it to continue, not because it was right or wrong, but because there are lessons to learn and places he needs us more.

find a way to forgive, friend, but also allow yourself enough time to process. in the end, everyone there has a good heart. that's what makes it so painful.

jordan said...

I'm not going to say much in reply to your summary dear Cindy,except to disagree with your last paragraph; I'm grieved to say I do not think everyone there has a good heart.

I think many of our churches, agencies and denominations are under a spirit of religion.

Rick Joyner describes this high-level demon as seeking to substitute religious activity for the power of the Holy spirit in our lives. E.Leo Lawson Jr. talks about ritual without relationship.

Lawson also gives this hope from Ephesians 1:17, however: a spirit of revelation can replace a spirit of religion.

We die for lack of revelation.

Have mercy, LORD, on all of us!