farewell

Some moments hang with such ceremony and reverence that to comment seems intrusive. Still, my soul remains heavy with events of the day.

The small group team which I was privileged to work alongside these last 4 1/2 years offered me a blessing today. They had wanted some moments of farewell and closure, and even though my role officially "ceased to exist" on December 31, today was the first day we could get the 15 folks on a conference call.

And so, with some fear and hesitation, actually, I phoned to join this "final" call with the team. Perhaps my hesitation stemmed from denial--not wanting closure because I didn't want the phonecall to signal the journey's end. There was other junk within me as well. I wanted an honest conversation, yet, I didn't trust myself to "not sin" or to not let the hurt of my heart spill out. I didn't want my wounds to poison the beauty of the extended blessing.

Sometimes hurt and pain cannot be avoided.

When a question was directed toward Jordan asking her how she was doing, words failed.
The turmoil and choked silence signalled other distress, and seemed most appropriate, actually, in light of the process and her continuing reality.

Yet the love and blessing also serves to soothe the pain, at least providing space to identify the blessing of a partnership and journey. Thus, I'm extremely grateful for the opportunity. My life is so much richer because of this incredible group of passionate ministry partners and friends.

In a different setting, yet similar mood, our attention turned to the funeral for President Gerald R Ford here in GR. And after we watched most of it, Jordan and I walked the couple miles to the church where the funeral was held. We arrived in time to see the processional reach the motorcade while the band played Faith of our Fathers, and Hail to the Chief. We joined the respectful and quiet crowd as soldiers loaded the casket into the hearse. We watched all the family members (one car withiin inches of us) and the dignitaries exit the church and enter their vehicles. Still silent, our eyes followed the lengthy line of vehicles drive down the street until they left our view.

We reached Jordan's house in time to watch the graveside service on television with a surreal sense that we had nearly touched these grieving family members and now were watching their not-so-private pain displayed all over again.

So many things in the day were unusual here, from the mild temperatures and glorious sunshine, to the historic moments of a presidential burial.

I'm not sure how to lay all of the thoughts, memories, images, and moments to rest.
Yet I know where to seek the rest of God. May His love, mercy and grace sustain us all.

photo credit: www.woodtv.com website