20 January 2007

defining "who I wanna be when I grow up"

In the category of "can't avoid it" questions, I'm constantly reinventing and (hopefully) improving my response
to the "what do you do" query.
At our second annual church winter retreat this very weekend,
another "can't avoid" question surfaced. "If you could do anything, what would you do?"

I'm at a loss.
Truly.
Not that I don't know what things I do or do not like to do.
Or even because I haven't enjoyed jobs in my past.
I'm fond of nearly every one on record.

but, when it comes to filling in the job "category" on a search engine like monster, I don't know what to say. I'm not an engineer, nurse, doctor, teacher, therapist, designer, etc. I can't even claim to be clergy, or a pastor. And "other" seems much too, well, ambiguous? perhaps? I can legitimately claim my graduate student status, but I'm not sure that really increases my "attractiveness."

Here's something, not sure what, but something. At last year's retreat, I retreated into slumber sometime just after midnight. Although the accommodations were more than adequate, I frequently woke during the night as persons walked through the hallways, or even as I heard the "still up" folks laughing in the common area down the hall. In fact, one wake up, I glanced to see it was nearly 3 am and thought, "crazy, foolish people. Why would anyone stay up THIS late..."

so this very morning, after some satisfying and competitive games of hand and foot, when the "remaining four" of us decided to retire, and it was nearly FOUR AM!!! I could only transfer the crazy, foolish label to myself.
Except, reacting personally, naturally, it was worth it to stay up.

So, does that "endurance" register anywhere as a valuable hiring quality??

Hmmm. Maybe I don't want to know the answer to that.

1 comment:

westcoastgirl said...

well girl, the truth is that we are constantly challenged to redefine ourselves, if indeed we are intentional about being 'transformed' by the renewal of our minds.' The definitions of character, abilities, careers descriptions are boxed into categories that I too do not fit well at all. Proudly i could say that I can do so much, with such excellence that nothing captures adequately! truthfully however, i believe the journey of self discovery is not limited to time, age or career definitions. indeed, its a imperative to be anchored who I am as defined by my Abba Father, then I confidently can walk into new fields. right now, its more like 'no man's land. the inbetween place of 'what I used to be and do' and not yet in the promised land. staying in this place is hard work,counteractive to the definitions expected of both secular world and even other believers. So then, ask: what is this time for ? this 'kairos' time - time that serves a holy purpose...