posture

I was talking with a friend tonight about listening to God.

Have you ever been in that place where you're asking God about something and waiting to hear his response. But the truth is, you're afraid you'll hear something that you don't want to hear? Or afraid you'll NOT hear what you are hoping God will say?

In the case of my Dad for instance, I truly want to hear that the mass in his colon comes back benign. And I'm hoping that his lymph nodes are also cancer free.
I have complete faith that God can do that.
He can heal my Dad.

But it may not be His plan for my Dad or our family's life. It may be. But if it's not His best, than would I rather hear that? Or just linger in the mystery?
In the case of my previous job situation, I really wanted God to "rescue" and save us from what we were experiencing. So I asked for that. Cried out. Begged the only one I knew who could change, even reverse scenarios. Did I hear Him say he would save us? I don't think so. But I longed for it. I hoped that was what would happen. It was what I wanted to hear.

At this juncture, I'm somewhat convinced that "the saving" was releasing us from the work environment, even though it felt like a sacrifice.

So does the posture of listening require that we undoubtably hear from God? Or does it mean that we're willing to obey when we sense His leading? Or does it mean we will accept whatever the consequence or circumstance regardless of what it looks like, or regardless of what we want? Does our commitment to listening mean we're simply trusting God regardless?

Call me still learning about listening...