Here's what went down. A person in my spiritual formation program, a few semesters behind me, posted a comment in her facebook status about her current class. I replied to her post.
And then she responded to me:
Hi Diana! Which class are you in now? And...is that a grandchild in your picture?????
The picture is of my friend's baby. He is adorable. And if I did the math, if I had a child at 18ish and my child had a child at 18ish, mathematically speaking, I could have a grandchild. But..well, listen in on my response:I'm in Spirituality and Leadership. It is also a class to look forward to! And um, no, not a grandchild. I'm not yet a parent. :-)
This comes ironically after my friend, the very mother of the baby I'm holding, blogged about her experience when someone thought she was the grandma of the same child.
I confess, I'm not too stressed out about age. I turn 39 this very week and I'm grateful for another birthday. I love life. I am delighted for the opportunity to love God and love others for another year.
But, this whole thinking I'm a grandma thing, it's kinda bugged me. Given that the mother of this child is six years younger than me, and SHE was confused as a grandma doesn't console me. Goodness, at least she is a parent, even though she looks and acts nothing like a grandparent.
To complete the comments, here is the response to me:
Oops - sorry! I hope I didn't offend you girlfriend! I AM a grandma - so I just made an assumption...we grandmas get younger all the time! :-)
She wrote that a day or so ago. And since i'm clearly NOT over it, it's no surprise to say I was offended. I was whining about it to Barkley, and he said, "perhaps your blond hair in the photo looked grey?"
To which I quickly quipped, "but, I don't have wrinkles by my eyes, or lines by my mouth." Yes, clearly, this isn't sitting well. But why? I hear grandparenting is a fabulous time of life. Some people comment that they wish they'd become grandparents sooner. Most people really really really like their grandmas (I'm one of them).
Even so, I'd rather not be thought as one.
Gentle reader (tee hee, who says that?), here's an opportunity to input should you care to respond:
should I tell her I was offended?
or is it time to let this whole thing go?
Any thoughts out there?
6 comments:
Let it go baby. You don't look like a grandma. Perhaps it was your wisdom that aged you. On an age related note, I will tell you that I got carded last week :)
but if you were a grandma, that would be a really cute grandkid! And you would be my mom. :-)
Hey, you didn't go to high school with my mom did you?
...just kidding
Thanks, J. Oh, u got carded? You are young, and you LOOK young, that is proof. Fun!
Thanks, Keith. He IS a beautiful kid, no question. Regarding ur other comments, I'm feeling all shades of encouraged. :-) I can hear u laughing.
i also am STILL offended. i go to class with the girl every week, and the other day, she brought her young daughter to school (same age as my kids) and i wanted to ask her is she was a grandkid. But maybe it is true...they can see how wise we are and they just can't BELIEVE that we could possibly exude that much wisdom and be as young as we actually are. :)
I am baffled as to why people are making comments like that! You so do not look like a grandma...either does karla...I just don't get it? She probably feels mortified, though, so I would let it go unless you think it will affect your friendship...but she doesn't seem like a close friend anyway...or she would know that you are NOT a grandma!
i think social grace has ebbed out of society. i don't think the question is necessary at all. a simple "that is a beautiful baby" would have been perfect. you could have them had the opportunity to say "thank you. it is my friend's son and i love him."
what is with people today?!? i was asked if i wanted any of my "own" kids. david, being adopted, is apparently not really mine. i'm still offended so i can understand why you are.
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