18 March 2008

Meeting place

I went away this weekend to attend Acquire the Fire (atf), a conference geared mostly toward junior high and high school students (of which I am not, but, none the less, I went). Events like this, held in large venues, sometimes on college campuses, with multiple speakers and bands and intentional worship leading are sprinkled throughout my life. Often these events mark pivotal moments.
But there are moments when I wonder, am I just being caught up in the emotion of it? And if that is true, is that wrong or bad or inauthentic or??

I know that can be a criticism of certain events. But as I reflect on my time, on what I heard, witnessed, and experienced, I can only say that God is real. He speaks in different ways to all. In prayer and worship I experience the presence of God. It is a meeting place for me. It is a place where my heart connects to God's heart and I am changed. Sometimes the change resembles a gentle knocking and a reminder of who I need to be (but that I'm not yet there). Sometimes it's the crumbling of walls which I've erected or my choices constructed which God's grace and truth dismantles. Sometimes it's the piercing word of scripture which removes the mask and reveals who I truly am.
It is not always pleasant. Sometimes it is utterly exhausting, as I recently put on my facebook page, I become rubbish, or completely undone by the reality of who God is and who I am not.

Perhaps it's not that way for everyone. But it's my experience. I don't want to engage the intensity everyday. Not surprisingly, God seems to know and implement the perfect timing! And it allows me to walk more closely and more connected, I hope, to his very heart.

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