29 November 2006

change


i know, i say i don't like to talk about the weather, but today, november 29, in w michigan, we had 60+ degree weather and an amazing thunderstorm, because, you guessed it, a front is moving through and we'll be experiencing a huge change in the weather. some changes are predictable, or at least something u can anticipate, others, are not so much.

today i received word about a job change. i was expecting some word about changes, but not the one i received. so i'm in a bit of a state of shock. and yet, i'm not even slightly emotional--perhaps b/c of the shock, but also perhaps because God has been preparing me most recently. at least, that's what I hope is the grace and peace in the midst of these somewhat stormy times.

honestly, the platitudes about God being unchanging and God being faithful are all true, as is every word of scripture. and i don't have it all memorized by any means, but a lot of it stirs in my soul, spirit, and some memory, too. and i do believe those things. and i know who God is...

but the human side of me (and perhaps no one else is like this, which is fine, afterall, this is my blog, as selfish and narcissistic as this may be) does panic a bit. i think i'm an easy going person. i think i'm someone who isn't that controlling. i think i go with the flow pretty well. and maybe those things remain true. but when you hear your job is being discontinued, and u look at the responsibilities of a mortgage, and other bills, and you wonder if u'll ever find a job you love so much again in ur life, and wonder somehow if the job change decision does really mean that you're a loser and you are incompetent, well, speaking for this person, i sometimes want the personal word from God that even if all of these things are in question, and even if they are true, He won't let me become .... well, say, a street person.

however, what if, being a street person is the best thing for God's kingdom? What if that's the best place to be used to serve Him and love people? what if the mortgage and the life and relationships which i hold as rich and good are not really the most effective for His kingdom? What if i'm valuing the wrong things all together and this is His way of getting my attention?
What if....?

I have a lot of questions, and there will always be so much unknown. i do know this, i have no where else to turn, for you, oh Lord, have the words of eternal life. That remains certain!

Oh, and the pix, doesn't have anything to do with post per se, but it's 2 of my sisters from this past Thanksgiving weekend. And I'm grateful for them!

6 comments:

karen said...

Yeah, um. Hey! What is the news about the job? Have you been relocated? You can't just leave us hanging here!

John said...

yeah the mind does a number on you when you have been laid-off or rejected for a spot, etc... but no you are not a loser.
on a further note: the street is not too bad of a place sometimes, at least for a little while. i hear the streets in seattle are really nice.
i have my own little job interview tomorrow. one of these days i'll get up and fly again.
-jeb

White Rabbit said...

HI Diana,

Definately surprising news. i'm glad God has given you peace in all this though. i look forward to seeing where God guides you in the future months. We know he values the things you mentioned, though his priorities do seem to be different than ours. i know he likes you a lot though!!! How couldn't he?

In your case, i can only imagine that there is a need somewhere that God is concerned about which will take a very unique and able person to minister to. You are incredibly able and no doubt will be very carefully placed.

Gracie said...

karen, perhaps i was being too vague, but they have decided to discontinue my position effective 123106. No relocation (at least for this position) necessary. Thanks for asking.

I'll keep those tho'ts in mind John and Keith. Thanks.

Jewels said...

Hi Diana,

I love the picture. That sis to the right of you is a carbon copy. And you are definitely not a loser! Praying for you...

cindy said...

loser and incompetent do not describe the woman i know. you are a beautiful child of God and he has prepared you for this moment (whether you feel it or not).

this is about God giving you the wings to soar, my friend! i can't wait to see where He uses you next.